Greetings readers and writers alike. Here's the thing, I have not been updating my blogs for a few years now. Why? Boring. I'd rather take a nap or read or research something (meaning cruise the wicked web and disappear down the bloody rabbit hole again and again). Write. Why would I want to do that? Because you're a writer, you tit. Ah, but most writers are lazy. They'll tell you otherwise, but it's true. And if they are writing for themselves, then that's even worse. Self-motivation is a hard thing. There's always some excuse not to do. Another film to watch, another series of Into the Badlands to gorge on. Isn't Game of Thrones 7 coming up soon? And don't get me on to Twin Peaks 3. Ah, the distractions. Maybe if I had a Time Machine, then I could go back to an age when there was no TV, no radio, no movies even. It was just self-made music, the gramophone and books to while away the hours and distract one from creating. Oh, and sex. There's always sex. Don't get me wrong, I love film, I love good drama. I find them inspiring and, to be honest, I haven't watched a movie or a series before 7pm since I was last really ill and bed-bound, and that was a while ago now (touch wood). Yes, the odd lazy New Year's Day movie matinee aside, but it is true. I have all day to write. I find watching TV in the day is too reminiscent of my (young) student and unemployed days. I just can't do it now. But I will take a nap, I will bake a pie. Bake a pie? Yep. Hmm, I fancy a piece of cherry pie today, I say to myself while staring at the blank page. I haven't got any. I'll make one. That takes up an hour. A good excuse not to write. My agent must hate me. He's an angel really. How's it going? he'll email. OK, I reply. Well, if you want to show me anything then do. Which, I know, is guarded agent talk for get the fuck on with it. I have bills to pay, he's saying.
Trouble is, I'm back to square one. With my career, that is. The memoir market is saturated, so no Bandaging the Blitz sequel. Sorry guys, I know many of you have asked. My Kingdom Lock publisher is... Hell, let's not go into that cess pit. So, Kingdom's on sabbatical for the foreseeable future. Which means, dear reader, that now I have to write something new and my agent has to sell it all over again. Sell me, too, I guess. And I have to get on with it. But I have, of late, been suffering, suffering from procrastination. Good news is that I am finally on the road to recovery. It's akin to getting on a bike and trying to cycle uphill, but in the wrong gear. Although, you may ask, why the hell am I wasting time writing this blog? Particularly as nobody will probably read it. Well, for myself really, as a kick up the butt and to get the words out. Words, you see, can clog the mind. The wrong words, that is. Don't get me wrong, I have been working. I have been writing. And I'm ready. Ready to rock, as it were. And I'm excited about my next project, currently entitled 'The 5'. It's fantasy fiction, with an historical context. And I've done tons and tons of research already. Absolutely fascinating stuff. The story is based, in part, on the North Berwick Witches. I'll tell you my writing process next time. You may be interested. I am.
One other thing. I haven't been wasting too much time. Not really. I did spend three months applying for a PhD. Three months? Well, you'd be amazed how long the application process takes. All the emails you have to send. All the replies you have to wait for. All the application loops you have to go through. You need a bloody degree just to understand half of it. But I want to do it. To supplement my writing and to give something back. Lecture in Creative Writing. The opportunities are there, during the three years of study. Apparently. I'd like to think so. I look forward to the chance. However, I've got to get on the bloody thing first. Good news is, I have had two unconditional offers to study. One from Exeter and one from Aberystwyth. Bad news is, I didn't get any funding. It's expensive, doing it full-time and I can't without funding. So, I deferred the places until 2018, which was agreed, and I'll try for AHRC funding again this coming December. Fingers crossed. Which means that I have between now and then to get writing. For who knows, if it's good (it will be, trust me) and if my agent sells it (he's confident he can, but no promises - fair enough), then I may have some funding from my own pocket. Well, towards the costs anyway.
So rant over.
Hope you found it interesting. A lot of text to read. Here's a interesting picture.